October 12, 2010: Sort Of Fabulous Network News- Yesterday's News, Today!

Julius: Turn 9!

Action Item: Because!
- The planet so philosophically inclined its chief export is fertilizer from its bull-raising industry, came under attack this past tick. Ynot was attacked by the forces of Commander Mokat, but was defended easily by the zenrin horde of Warlord Agramer. Asked about the reason for the attack, Commander Mokat replied: "Well, Ynot?"

Second Item: A Sphinx He Is Not!
- The HW of Giza fell to the invading fleets of Commander Peranthus, who bested Pharoah's Emissary Imhotep_IV in pitched battle there this past tick. Pharoah's Emissary was contacted for comment, and made this statement to our reporter: "Man with hands held horizontal, crocodile, river, river, pyramid, man with hands held horizontal, jackal head, jackal head, exclamation point."

Third Item: News Reports Write Themselves!
- What do you do when you get a Flat far from home? You Patch it! That is exactly what happened when two attackers arrived to try the defenses at Barid in the largest battle of this tick, and only one could survive to win. In such fashion did the soldiers of Commander DJPatch win the planet, by besting both the home defense fleet and the attack forces of Swampleader Flat. We at SoFNN will be keeping watch to see if this battle is some kind of Baridometer of future conflict in that region of space.

And now a word from our sponsor: Sonnet Judging Services, Ltd.- "We're working on it- keep your pants on. No, really, keep them on. Please, just don't take them off!"

Travail, UC News Reporter

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