December 6, 2010: Sort Of Fabulous Network News Update

Tiberius: Turn 18......Rings 1&2: Turn 3!

Action Item: Tiberius- Shadowbane Holds Bachelor Party!

- And why not, after successfully defending the planet Bachelor from Commander EternalBurden's attack? After the intense celebration, the victorious commander was described hesitantly by one of his pilots as "a mere Shadowbane of himself", but the pilot admitted he wasn't wedded to that description.

Second Item: Tiberius- Hair10 Wins Big Despite Defense!
- Perhaps that should be Despite Despite's Defense, as General Hair10 won a close victory over Commander Glaxono at Despite. An eyewitness told us: "Hair 10 did it out of spite, and despite, or perhaps in spite of, Despite's spiteful defense." We're certain the planet is hoping for a respite in hostilities and puns.

Third Item: Ring 1- Don't Look Back Either!
- Arachnon Commander Arillus vaporized the population of Don't Look Down, while not losing a single OSAA2 Incinerator. Guess the population shouldn't have looked up during the attack, either.

Fourth Item: Ring 2- Something To Cheer About This Season!
- Commander Rab_1 had something to cheer about during this holiday season of good cheer, taking Cheer while only losing 2 hsf's in the process. While it's true that a number of pilot uniforms were scorched during the attack, Rab_1's High Command assures us that after taking the planet, they now have the detergent technology to make sure everything comes clean.

And now, a word from our sponsor: Society of Advanced Pirate Mathematics- "Where 1000 pieces of eight IS equal to 80,000 pieces of one."

Travail, UC News Reporter

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