December 9, 2010: Sort Of Fabulous Network News Update

Tiberius: Turn 21......Rings 1&2: Turn 6!

Action Item: Tiberius- Mintberry Crunch Loses Homeworld!

- Despite the supreme power of berry combined with the awesome cool of mint, the HW of Shamgambloo experienced the "Crunch" when invaders "Flat-tened" the place. One would guess that Commander Panthro's 'secret weapon', notable hero Mintberry Crunch, called out the planet name instead of his power phrase Shablagoo and was vaporized round one of the fight. (Editor's note: OMG, the funniest 3 part South Park ever in this editor's opinion.)

Second Item: Tiberius- Reaper City With Huge Casualties- With A Name Like That, Who Would Have Guessed?!
- What looks to be the biggest fight in the universe took place this past cycle, making Sxullborgs all over start having conniptions and even seizures at the lost ultranium potential. In the nearly even fight, Admiral Kilvan99 brought the serious boom enough to overcome the huge defense of Commander Ultrakiller. It's clear enough to this reporter that both parties reapered the whirlwind with respect to FP losses, though Kilvan took the contested world in the end. He told SoFNN: "Reaper City? I barely even knew her city!"

Third Item: Ring 1- Nothing Really Funny Happened So We're Running An Arachnon-Interest Story!
- Commander Larfleeze attacked and took the planet Oregano a cycle ago, hoping to find the planet's spokesperson, their very own "Spice Girl". Unfortunately, she was unable to be found, having been arrested the day prior for possession with intent to sell of a bag of 'oregano'. As a result, most of the population was incinerated, while Larfleeze did not have a chance to upgrade his cr Orgv2 with the TK Helmet also on the ship. (Editor's note: Upgrades only happen on planets, when both the unit to be upgraded and the upgrade are in the base fleet together. If created the same turn, or if one of those is in the base fleet when the other is built, the upgrade happens automatically.)

Fourth Item: Ring 2- They Abandoned All Hope A Loooong Time Ago!
- Commander Hardluck had only good luck as the populace of No Hope was subdued practically before the fight began. One would suppose planetary morale could have been improved well before the fight, by choosing a more inspiring planetary name like, I don't know, Some Hope, or Lots Of Hope, or Hope, Not Dope. Talk about negative thinking- Hardluck's orbiting Hew-10 survived 5 rounds of fighting while its crew waved a flag which read "Hit us- we have nothing to live for anyway".

And now, a word from our sponsor: Society of Sea Urchin Psychiatrists- "Spines, spines, everywhere is spines, blocking up the scenery, and breaking my mind. Do this, don't do that, can't you see the spines??"

Travail, UC News Reporter

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