December 11, 2010: Sort Of Fabulous Network News Update

Tiberius: Turn 23......Rings 1&2: Turn 8!

Action Item: Nothing That A Little Paint And Spackle Won't Fix!

- More homeworlds fell this past cycle, including Arapaho and Spack-O-Matic, and under serious assaults of FP. Victorious commanders Spudfyre and Breakers will have some repair work to do on their conquests as a result of the attacks, before they launch on their next targets.

Second Item: Interesting Shows Down At The Bijou!
- Commander Devastar brought his own popcorn for the "show" at Bijou, as he rained fiery death and destruction (Editor's note: What? Instead of melted butter-like substitute?) on Commander LeftRadio's HW, seizing it in his trademark "devastarting" attack. One wonders when the tickets went on sale, 'cause we heard nuffin'?

Third Item: Ring 1- Wraith Masters Both The Nitty And The Gritty!
- In a bold and overwhelming attack, Commander Wraith stormed into NittyGritty, capturing the world with minimal losses. Survivors of the attack have declared Commander Wraith to be carrying "a lot of bad-ifacator mojo".

Fourth Item: Ring 2- All We Know Of Heaven, And All We Need Of Hell!
- Captain Slim Hoss rolled his forces into Purgatory this past cycle, eschewing both heaven and hell in favor of the doomed planet. Asked about his new conquest, Slim Hoss reported: "Well, it's not so good, but, meh, it's not so bad either."

And now, a word from our sponsor: Society of Refluxing Infants- "Hey, what can we say? Spit happens."

Travail, UC News Reporter

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