July 3, 2011: SoFNN- Mega Update

Never Summer, Turn 14!

We're back, speeding the best of the best and the best of the worst to you since you started paying attention!

Action Item: What Season Will It Never Be This Time?
- The HW NeverSpring fell this past cycle, invaded by commander CK "Lobster" Bisk. Defender MudKnight put up a valiant defense, but could not stop the Guir Battle Lord from taking the planet. Remarkably, it is only the second HW to fall in Never Summer, following Greelbase several cycles ago. Up until Greelbase fell, one might say that, for HW's, it was NeverFall. We caught up with CKBisk to ask about the attack, and he told us: "Well, let's just say there's no joy in MudKnightville tonight."

Second Item: A Daha-Bad Day At The War!

- Commander Mokat suffered defeat at Dahabad this past cycle, as General Sandsorb rolled in with a TAPS fleet to take the world from him after pitched battle. Sandsorb made a statement to reporters on the conquest, swearing to change the name of the planet after a better name could be chosen. "I'm thinking IAmQuiteABitOfBad, or ForMokatItsJustTooBad, but I haven't decided yet."

Third Item: A Battle Of The ZZ's Which Won't Put You To Sleep!
- Two cycles ago, the largest battle to date in Never Summer was fought between commanders ZPO and Zinamben at the palindromic HW of Bob, with the battle going to the defending Zinamben. The Cosmic Needleman was either not available or simply not seen for a comment, but ZPO said to this reporter: "Well, no Bob-bing for apples this week, let me tell you!"

And now, a word from our sponsor: Plastic Insect Garden Ornaments- "You'll swear, 'I can't believe it's not butterfly!'"

Travail, UC News Reporter

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