June 13, 2012: SoFNN- Brief Update You Win Or You Die!

You Win Or You Die, turn 8!

Bringing you the best of the best since we started feeling like it and you started paying attention!

Action Item: Admiral Joey's Got A Purty Mouth!

- Or so are the rumors after AJ went to Deliverance with an invasion fleet. He arrived at the same time as Sting Witch, but his XHC's ruled the roost, destroying both the planetary defenses and the attacking Nozama Horde Lite (tm). In a case of mistaken identity, AJ was asked about whether the pizza industry on the planet would recover from his attack. He replied: "Look, it's not Deliverance, it's DiGiorno".

Second Item: Pulling a Rabbit From His Hat (and Warren)!

- The first HW of the mega has fallen in a bit of megabotastic legerdemain. In a brief and cryptic statement from Unified Ectonian Command Headquarters, Operation: Wonderland Gambit was a complete success. "After a right turn at the hookah smoking caterpillar, it was 'off with his head'."

Third Item: Razzle Dazzle!

- Razius of the Sxullborg Federation won a stunning victory at Dernusk this past cycle, beating token bot-girl Kira in a pitched battle which won the most-firepower-destroyed award for the cycle. Much ultranium was had by all as a result.

And now, a word from our sponsor: Rangers Hampered By Bathroom Knicknacks- "Sadly, we can't see the forest for the toiletries."

Travail, UC News Reporter

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