October 26, 2012: SoFNN- Ground War And Long Haul Update!

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Bringing you the best of the best since we started feeling like it and you started paying attention!

Ground War Action Item: Gimak Hits A World So Hard It Lost Its W!!

- Gentleman Gimak finally mustered the troops and mastered the distance to capture Orld from MIA commander Caducious this past cycle. The late game ultranium capture has bells ringing everywhere, such that George Bailey said, in a statement to the press: "Well gee, Clarence... They're making angels by the thousands!"

Ground War Second Item: I'm Sorry Dave, But I Can't Do That!

- Commander "How Big?" Habig socked it to Hal this past cycle in an overkill of, well, overkill proportions. In a statement to reporters, he said: "Yeah, it kinda was full of stars, now you mention it!"

Long Haul- Action Item: Starship Troopers Win Battle At Klendathu!!

- It was a really big battle at the HW of Klendathu this past cycle, where Jabberwock whuffled through a tulgy orbit, and burbled as he stepped on a really Big Bug, hard. Big Bug announced to reporters: "Well, we can certainly not afford another Klendathu."

And now, a word from our sponsor: Citizens For Alpine Falsehood- "We want to save the mountain lyin', that's all."

Travail, UC News Reporter

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