February 24, 2013: SoFNN: Triple Play, Maybe Half Way!- Turn 16

News, news, news, from the Sort of Fantastic Network News!!

With all the news that's fit to embellish, we are bringing you the best of the best since we started feeling like it and you started paying attention!

Triple Play Action Item: Wadd's Up With That?!!

- Commander Wadd won a squeaker at Homesworld this past cycle, against the marauding forces of Raven_Walker_Don't_Runner in the biggest FP-destroyed battle of the cycle. Two CRorgs made the difference between win or lose for the defender, after a grueling battle between the two commanders. In an unconfirmed statement, Wadd is said to have ordered underlings to "break out the bug juice" in order to celebrate.

Triple Play Second Item: Xenofruit Defense At Guiness: Stout!!

- Commander Xenofruit successfully defended Guiness, the former HW of Commander "I'm not so Zenful at the moment" Zen, after an attempt by the prior owner to wrest back control. Rumors on the ground among the occupation forces suggest an intense search for both insurgents and kegs of the former homeworld's homebrew. Sales of the new book "Zen and the Art of TKBike Racing" seem to have fallen with the news.

Triple Play Third Item: Kira And Shadowbane_X Tilt At Windmills!!

- Or at least that's what it looked like from orbit, as the attack fleets of both renowned commanders arrived at the same time to subjugate the planet Quixote. We caught up with Commander Kira to ask about the 3 way battle which resulted in the loss of a sizable fleet of hurax fighters. In an exclusive statement to SoFNN, Kira quoted the planet's most famous past president, for whom it was named, with a venomous glance at Shadowbane_X: "Every man is as Heaven made him, and sometimes a great deal worse."

And now, a word from our sponsor: Society to Stamp Out STD's Among Air Elementals- "No one wants to suffer from sylphilis!"

Travail, UC News Reporter

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