May 15, 2013: SoFNN- Mega News Update- Elemental War, Turn 25!

News, news, news, from the Sort of Fantastic Network News!!

With all the news that's fit to embellish, we are bringing you the best of the best since we started feeling like it and you started paying attention!

Elemental War Action Item: Ramius Makes It Through Red "May"!!

- A humongous battle was waged at Ramius this past cycle, with Commander "Robinson" Caruso's forces carrying the day in victory after a brutal campaign by invader, Commander "What the?" Helldar. Folks, everything was in this battle, including a submarine! (Editor's note: Well, not really. But 'hyperbole' is not part of any convention of war, so we went with it.)

Elemental War Second Item: Why Not To Spill Coffee In Your Lap!!

- General Platton was burned at work this past cycle, trying to defend his (now former) HW of BurnedAtWork. The successful invader was Commander "I Think That I Shall Never See A Poem Lovely As A" Trebor, who was aided by the sudden appearance of the TK Tour de France, which showed up with 25 TK bike riders looking for a finish line. In the skirmish, one of the riders was killed, but race officials were quoted as saying: "Yes, it's true, and although he wasn't blood doping, he was a dope, so it's okay." All kudos to General Platton, who had had to fend off an attack at the HW the 2 cycles before this from Trebor, then Commander "The" Dr_Sci "Is In", and finally had been left ill prepared for the follow up onslaught by Trebor. It would be fair to say that Platton was 'hydroplaned' over the last 3 cycles. Well fought, well fought!

Elemental War Third Item: Bad Water, Bad!!

- If you were one of the few who missed the mano a mano fight several cycles ago at Badwater, you should find a moment to go back in your files and review it, as an example of epic struggle, a fight among matched equals, to the death. (Editor's note: Or, you could look at it as 2 kindergarten kids fighting with crayons, in that it took for-freaking-ever.) In the end, after THIRTY rounds of fighting, the invading Monk died of shame.

And now, a word from our sponsor: Drosophilophages Anonymous- "You want some flies with that?

Travail, UC News Reporter

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