July 30, 2013: SoFNN- Turn 7 On The Grid: Update!

News, news, news, from the Sort of Fantastic Network News!!

With all the news that's fit to embellish, we are bringing you the best of the best and the worst of the worst, since we started feeling like it and you started paying attention!

The Grid Action Item: A Work Of Aart?!!

- The first HW to fall in The Grid mega was Aartos, where megabots were shown to be poor fodder in a battle there this past cycle. SoFNN forecasters suspect this will not be the last, and are predicting heavy rain (Editor's note: of missiles) and heavy clouds (Editor's note: of smoke) and storms (Editor's note: of invaders) across the whole region.

The Grid Second Item: Self-Image Blamed For Nobody's Defeat!!

- The planet Worthless fell to the marauding invader bot3's of Re-Re-Replay this past cycle. A spokesman for the planet berated their prior leader's defense, saying: "Well hell! Nobody knows nothing around here!"

The Grid Third Item: Valhalla Stormed- Scuttlers Take Bifrost!!

- In a move of astounding effrontery and brazenness, Commander Logieg invaded the gates of Valhalla this past cycle! Many a Valkyrie was cut down, and alarms of "Blue Valkyrie, your life force is running out!" were heard all over the planet. SoFNN was able to reach Logieg for an exclusive comment: "This was nothin'", said the Arachnon Overlord, rubbing his forelegs together. "Let's Ragnarock and roll, baby!"

And now, a word from our sponsor: Society for the Preservation of Hevea Brasiliensis- "Whoops, there goes another rubber tree plant!"

Travail, UC News Reporter

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