August 18, 2013: SoFNN- On The Grid, Turn 26

News, news, news, from the Sort of Fantastic Network News!!

With all the news that's fit to embellish, think of us as your exclusive source of antiquated Terran German second person, transitive verbs: we are bringing you the best of the best and the worst of the wirst, since we started feeling like it and you started paying attention!

The Grid Action Item: Two Chicks At The Same Time? Hah!!

- Forget everything you knew about what was possible, and feast your eyes, ears, sensory tentacles, and other applicable sensory organs on the SIMULTANEOUS capture of two homeworlds by Not-So-Anonymous Guderian back on cycle 19! To this reporter's recollection, such a feat has not been accomplished before. Like, ever. Talk about bringing the boom! Though DarFenPrime and DingDongDell were both liberated by their respective commanders, the achievement is certainly worthy of a headline. (Editor's note: Even if it's several turns late!)

The Grid Second Item: Where Hopes And Dreams And Dead Fish Go!!

- Commander Replay showed a 'royal flush' this past cycle, defending his hw of Toilet from Darth Vain. The failure of the attack by Darth Vain's forces was 'most disappointing to the Emperor'. In a statement to the press from his personal NClass V3, he has sworn the defeat of Replay, by "this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL battle station!" In a related statement to SoFNN, Replay has suggested to this Emperor to "sith on it!"

The Grid Third Item: It's Good For The Digestive System For Some Races!!

- In search of both extra worlds and fiber, Commander Teddywolf invaded Grotbran this past cycle. The able defense of the planet was handled by Lunches-on-Lorax, who, not surprisingly, likes his Grotbran. A lot, apparently. With 2 scoops of boron. Buggies.

And now, a word from our sponsor: United Gone-Postal Service- "Neither meteor rain, nor methane snow, nor cosmic rays in the gloom of space, will stay these local couriers from taking your homeworld."

Travail, UC News Reporter

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