December 25, 2013: SoFNN: Ring-Ring-Ring! Winter Rings Underway-Ish!

News, news, news, from the Sort of Fantastic Network News!!

With all the news that's fit to embellish! Who will be the Lords of the Rings, and who will be just another bunch of filthy hobbitses? Time will tell- on to the news!

Winter Ring 1, Action Item: "I'll Have A Guiness!!"

- So said ScaryRaven, but Zen had an answer: "Oh no you won't!" Zen led his forces in an effective defense of his homeworld, and denied a thirsty man a drink. We at SoFNN understand, of course, the need for both a stiff defense, and a stiff drink.

Winter Ring 2, Action Item: Quesotrain Gets An Offer, Goes For Retirement!!

- We certainly hope he reached it with pre-tax Ultranium! One could say, based on the quick battle, that Quesotrain took an early Retirement. We wouldn't, of course, but someone could.

Winter Ring 3, Inaction Item: Zippity Goes Looking For The Doodah!!

- ... And finds it after drinking the milk of his most recent conquest, Magnesia. Expectations are high for a flow of impending movements. Er, fleet movements, that is.

And now, a word from our sponsor: The Optimistic Wheat Thins Society- "Pollyanna wanna cracker."

Travail, UC News Reporter

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