May 10, 2014: SoFNN- Ultraquest, Turn 3!

News, news, news, from the Sort of Fantastic Network News!!

With all the news that's fit to embellish, we are bringing you the best of the best and the worst of the worst, since we started feeling like it and you started paying attention! Ultraquest is underway, and it's the very ultra in, er, questing. (Editor's note: In this competition, apparently, Lith is More.)

Ultraquest Action Item: Remarquing on Rue!!

- Dr_Sci makes sure that Rue de Remarque rues the day he arrived, capturing the planet easily.

Ultraquest Second Item: If Only There Were Fairy Bot-Mothers!

- Brian the Bravest plunders If Only, leaving behind only his trademark ectonianplasm. A spokesperson for the deposed government announced: "If Only we'd been better prepared..."

Ultraquest Third Item: Unhealthy Levels of Teratogens at Teratogen!!

- Trebor and his powerful, stealthy fleet assaulted Teratogen this past cycle, conquering the mutant-rich planet easily. Unfortunately for the planet, the defense failed because they didn't get any X Men, but rather had a lot of broken G Gnomes. (Editor's note: Okay, that was a real reach.)

And now, a word from our sponsor: Concerned Citizens Against Monks Selling Flowers- "You, and only you, can prevent florist friars!"

Travail, UC News Reporter

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