January 26, 2015: SoFNN: New Years Bash- Turn 19!

Apparently the bashing will continue until morale improves!

Action Item: How Many Ticks Does It Take To Get To The Center Of Tootsie?

- Caruso went carousing after he ca-ruised into Tootsie, remaining unsurprised when Tootsie's defenses went 'Pop'! Despite cheers of 'Go, Tootsie, Go!' from Dabney Coleman's clone, Caruso's forces carried the day. A big fan of Old Terra Television's series 'Twin Peaks', Caruso told reporters: "The Mr. Owls are not what they seem."

Action Item: Rukhy Rocks And Rolls For Milk Of Amnesia And Cookies!

- Commander Rukhy "Balboa" brought forces to bear against Catbar at Propofol this past cycle, and Catbar fared about as well as Michael Jackson did back on Old Terra. (Editor's note: What? Too soon?)

Action Item: Aarterial Bleeding At Aartos!

- An upstart, overconfident Commander punctured hopes, dreams, and major vasculature with a sneaky stab at Aartos this past cycle. The formerly proud HW of Commander "My Bot-ty Lies Over The Ocean" Bianchi now lies in ruins under the scads of Sentinels running roughshod all over it. Avoiding a statement to reporters, the victorious commander only said: "Bot me no bots, okay?"

We'd like to thank our sponsor, The Society for Fans of Far Eastern Philosophy and the Witch Doctors: "It's all about the Yin, the Yang, and the Ting Tang, Walla Walla Bing Bang."

Travail, UC News Reporter

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