May 15, 2020: ACUTRON Every-So-Often Action News!

Escape To The Universe, Turn 15

Some physicists said that neutrinos pass through everything, but Greyhulk did not pass through Neutrino this past cycle. The Invisible Enemy broke down the attacking enemy waves into particles. (Editor's note: Physics jokes? Why are quantum physicists bad lovers? A: Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position!}

Guderian the Not-Too-Shabby found Slice of Heaven to be a slice of heaven after nailing Paladin's defensive fleet to the proverbial wall without a significant degradation of his forces. Speculation about the administrative staff requirements for his empire abound, along with questions as to whether he will need new hires, and if they can telecommute from homeworld.

Essex has announced that he will buy the pilot of the Hurax stealth fighter stationed at Qachate several beers ("Nice ones, too, like Newcastle, or Curieux") for his stalwart defense this past cycle. Battling uphill the whole way, radio transcripts of the battle reveal that he lost Hutch, Tyree, and Porkins only halfway into the battle, but evaded the determined enemy fighters until victory was achieved.

Sponsored by Mothers Against Nazgul: "Your donations will help us achieve all our wight-loss goals."

Travail, UC News Reporter

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