May 19, 2020: Every-So-Often Acutron News Network

Infinita, Turn 8!

Bloodbath At Bloodmatch!

Venerable and experienced commanders Breakers and Maturin clashed over colonization rights to Bloodmatch this past tick, with the telling forces of Maturin winning the day. A good time was had by the victors, and not so much by the victims. One could say "Two men enter, one man leaves", but I wouldn't. (Editor's note: Except you did. Shame.)

Happenings At Happenstance!

Commander Jodos launched an all out attack on the heavily fortified Happenstance this past cycle. The right formula for tactical troop composition was evident in the battle, as Jodos did not even lose the tin-foil covered, E-class suicide psi hauler that brought the troops to the party. You might happen to say it was happenstance. (Editor's note: Argh.)

Sxullz Out For Summer!

Wily Field Marshal Glax-"OH NO!"-ono brought the boom to Sxullz Daze this cycle, capturing the planet and expelling the teachers and principal in a move sure to be wildly and widely celebrated at the beginning of the summer season.

This news update sponsored by Slow Cap Ship Construction Svcs.- "Speed kills!  Why else would they call it 'terminal velocity', right?!""

Travail, UC News Reporter

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