June 22, 2012: SoFNN- You Win Or You Die Update!
You Win Or You Die, turn 18!Bringing you the best of the best since we started feeling like it and you started paying attention!
Action Item: Eatin' Good In The Neighborhood!!
- Commander "I saw a plastic surgeon and it's no go" Bugface made it look easy (Editor's note: if by easy you mean with complete fodder loss) as he walked into Applebee and ordered a Hawaian Chicken from Captain "Everything's just" Jakey. When Jakey looked confused, Bugface said: "You know the dish, right?...it tastes like nozama!" The ensuing hostilities left Bugface in control of a nice stockpile of ult and a nice pile of the fleshy remains of the noz defenders.
Second Item: HCobb Opens Bot Recycling Center, Sees Huge Profit!
- Em-bot-tled Sxull Commander HCobb has done well for himself indeed, with multiple defensive victories at his beleaguered HW sux2bsxulls. Such an influx of bots to the scrap heap there led to a new business model for "Mutant Ninja HW Turtle" HCobb, who has but 3 worlds and 4 gazillion ult this cycle, who has started up a startup under the name Sxullford and Son Junkyard Recycle Center: "Roachbots check in, but they don't check out!".
Third Item: Hung From The Yard Arm!
- A precipitous attack by Commander Arillus attempted to take advantage of the reorganizing fleets of "I Am" Number 5 (Editor's note- because it's one louder than I am number 4) at The Yard, captured by 5 last cycle. Unfortunately for Arillus, the ample ultranium supply allowed 5 to repel the attack successfully. Yes, as though a time warp from Old Terra circa 1980's had opened, "Number 5 Alive!".
And now, a word from our sponsor: United Federation of Girl Scouts Who Love Cheese- "So what if we're all a bunch of Gouda Gouda two shoes?"
Travail, UC News Reporter
June 13, 2012: SoFNN- Brief Update You Win Or You Die!
You Win Or You Die, turn 8!Bringing you the best of the best since we started feeling like it and you started paying attention!
Action Item: Admiral Joey's Got A Purty Mouth!
- Or so are the rumors after AJ went to Deliverance with an invasion fleet. He arrived at the same time as Sting Witch, but his XHC's ruled the roost, destroying both the planetary defenses and the attacking Nozama Horde Lite (tm). In a case of mistaken identity, AJ was asked about whether the pizza industry on the planet would recover from his attack. He replied: "Look, it's not Deliverance, it's DiGiorno".
Second Item: Pulling a Rabbit From His Hat (and Warren)!
- The first HW of the mega has fallen in a bit of megabotastic legerdemain. In a brief and cryptic statement from Unified Ectonian Command Headquarters, Operation: Wonderland Gambit was a complete success. "After a right turn at the hookah smoking caterpillar, it was 'off with his head'."
Third Item: Razzle Dazzle!
- Razius of the Sxullborg Federation won a stunning victory at Dernusk this past cycle, beating token bot-girl Kira in a pitched battle which won the most-firepower-destroyed award for the cycle. Much ultranium was had by all as a result.
And now, a word from our sponsor: Rangers Hampered By Bathroom Knicknacks- "Sadly, we can't see the forest for the toiletries."
Travail, UC News Reporter
June 8, 2012: SoFNN- Brief Update You Win Or You Die!
You Win Or You Die, turn 3!Bringing you the best of the best since we started feeling like it and you started paying attention!
Action Item: The Bachelor Gets Cancelled!
- Unfortunately, not the show- the planet, as the Nozamalama horde of Kelan The Not So Glum 'Cause It Worked invaded.
Second Item: Sting Witch Suffers Searing Pain!
- Roughly a third of the Noz forces under the command of Sting Witch were lost in an otherwise convincing victory at Searing this past cycle.
Third Item: And I Could See Daniel Waving Goodbye!
- A goodbye to freedom from oppression, some might argue, as the forces of Glax "Oh No!" took Daniel in an XMC-sparing battle.
And now, a word from our sponsor: Statisticians Who Derive Probabilities from Dairy- "Look, there's no 'F' in 'whey', and that's final!"
Travail, UC News Reporter
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