July 24, 2011: SoFNN- Never Summer, The Wind Down!
Never Summer, Turn 35!We're back, speeding the best of the best and the best of the worst to you since you started paying attention! On to the news, as the final cycles of the Mega unfold!
Action Item: Swing And A Cheremiss, Strike Three!
- Commander "Aesop's" Phable rained death and destruction down on Cheremiss. Unfortunately for him, most of the death and destruction was of his own forces, as defender His Bot-tiness Monto repelled yet another big attack. Phable had this statement for this reporter: "Oh, and thanks for attacking me, you bonehead."
Second Item: Scrap, Scrap, Scrappity Scrap!
- Horde Commander P_Schoenhoff continues to be showin' off, adding the now-former HW of General "I Shall Return" Platton to his list of accomplishments in Never Summer. Scraposphere fell, it is rumored, due to a long vacation the General took recently, but the victorious P_Schoenhoff was quick to point out: "It was not that much of a scrap-shoot."
And now, a word from our sponsor: Hasenpfeffer Frozen Dinners, Inc- "Perfect for a couple- you'll be happy to be splitting hares!"
Travail, UC News Reporter
July 22, 2011: SoFNN- Never Summer!
Never Summer, Turn 33!We're back, speeding the best of the best and the best of the worst to you since you started paying attention! We at SoFNN have been mysteriously absent in reporting the news of Never Summer. We would like to explain to our loyal fans what has been keeping us from our 'appointed rounds'. But we won't, or it would spoil the mystery... On to the news, as the final cycles of the Mega unfold!
Action Item: The Spot To Be Was, For Hardluck!
- Commander "A" Hardluck "Man Is Good To Find" invaded The Spot To Be this past cycle, seizing the former LGR homeworld from Cerklewski in epic battle. Cerklewski himself captured it nearly 20 cycles ago, and then successfully defended it from multiple commanders until Hardluck arrived. One wonders if LGR should have named the world "The Spot Which Is Boring And Uninteresting And Hot And Icky And Why Not Give It A Pass, Huh".
Second Item: Xana-Don't!
- Commander Helgrenze lost his HW of Xanadu to Hive King Breakers this past cycle, and one would guess by surprise as the speedy attackers showed up unannounced (Editor's note: And likely uninvited). At the head of the attack fleet was one of the now-ubiquitous Zenrin masters, which explains why Breakers has been asked to do endorsements for Pan Galactic Master Card: "Zen Master the possibilities!"
Third Item: CrashLanding Turns Out To Be Exactly That!
- SpcmnSpiff handled a successful defense of his incredibly rich and well-stocked HW against a respectable invasion by R "The Un" Cola this past cycle. The relatively slow approach by RCola's fleets allowed SpcmnSpiff the opportunity to have a 21 fleet salute for the invaders, ensuring their crash landing at, er, CrashLanding.
And now, a word from our sponsor: Repurposed Allan Sherman Songs, the U.C. Collection- A new 16 c.d. set, including such repurposed favorites as: "Hello mudder, hello fodder!", "Waste of Ultranium", "Sorry About That", and "Lotsa Luck". Order now!
Travail, UC News Reporter
July 19, 2011: Turn 30 NeverSummer
The game ends in ten turns. We switch to an every other day format soon. Two players are tied for first with many others close. The fleets are getting large. Have fun!-- Starcharger
July 10, 2011: SoFNN- Never Summer News Update
Never Summer, Turn 21!We're back, speeding the best of the best and the best of the worst to you since you started paying attention!
Action Item: Homeworlds For Cheap!
- Five. Five home worlds fallen in a single turn! SoFNN would like to recognize that that is "one louder" than the four which fell 2 cycles ago. Things are really heating up this Summer!
Second Item: Got Milk But Not Got Ham!
- In the largest battle of Never Summer, invader Asgard was repelled, with authority, by Commander Bizzyguy. Ironically, the battle for Got Ham, while the largest so far in Never Summer, was NOT one of the fallen homeworlds. Bizzyguy told us in an exclusive statement: "Ragnarok has come to Asgard."
Third Item: Not MY Ex!
- Continuing on a 'tear', Hardluck took the HW of Your Ex from Commande Sobyv, as one of the five hw's which fell this cycle. As he succinctly put in a statement directed at Sobyv: "Well, it IS now Your Ex... HW."
And now, a word from our sponsor: Broadway Automobile Giveaway Corporation- "Come see Phantom of the Oprah, today!"
Travail, UC News Reporter
July 3, 2011: SoFNN- Mega Update
Never Summer, Turn 14!We're back, speeding the best of the best and the best of the worst to you since you started paying attention!
Action Item: What Season Will It Never Be This Time?
- The HW NeverSpring fell this past cycle, invaded by commander CK "Lobster" Bisk. Defender MudKnight put up a valiant defense, but could not stop the Guir Battle Lord from taking the planet. Remarkably, it is only the second HW to fall in Never Summer, following Greelbase several cycles ago. Up until Greelbase fell, one might say that, for HW's, it was NeverFall. We caught up with CKBisk to ask about the attack, and he told us: "Well, let's just say there's no joy in MudKnightville tonight."
Second Item: A Daha-Bad Day At The War!
- Commander Mokat suffered defeat at Dahabad this past cycle, as General Sandsorb rolled in with a TAPS fleet to take the world from him after pitched battle. Sandsorb made a statement to reporters on the conquest, swearing to change the name of the planet after a better name could be chosen. "I'm thinking IAmQuiteABitOfBad, or ForMokatItsJustTooBad, but I haven't decided yet."
Third Item: A Battle Of The ZZ's Which Won't Put You To Sleep!
- Two cycles ago, the largest battle to date in Never Summer was fought between commanders ZPO and Zinamben at the palindromic HW of Bob, with the battle going to the defending Zinamben. The Cosmic Needleman was either not available or simply not seen for a comment, but ZPO said to this reporter: "Well, no Bob-bing for apples this week, let me tell you!"
And now, a word from our sponsor: Plastic Insect Garden Ornaments- "You'll swear, 'I can't believe it's not butterfly!'"
Travail, UC News Reporter
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